Tis The Season To Be Frazzled, Fa La La La La La, lalalala

     In what universe did we have FREE time that we can now fill with Christmas shopping? I have always had a deep respect for full-time moms, but I have a new found respect for women who work full time, go home to take care of children and household AND pull off a magical Christmas! Lets face it, at the end of any one's day.....there is little or no energy to trudge through the crowded stores to score the perfect gift~ or crank up the ovens to create Christmas confections! So, what is a woman to do??
     For most it is too late to do a little shopping here and a little shopping there to be done by the 1st of December- then having Dec to just enjoy the Holiday activities- wouldn't THAT be Joyful! But it is not too late to let your fingers do the walking through the web pages! I have found that many companies are still offering free shipping and when you stack that with on-line coupons...there are some deals to be had. Shopping from the couch in your jammies will make the savings and/or convenience even sweeter. If you are apprehensive about ordering online, stick with the larger companies you recognize and places like Amazon or Overstock.com.
     Hitting the malls? To keep your sanity, I would also suggest NOT TAKING YOUR CHILDREN out shopping with you. Make a plan... organize a day when grandparents keep the kids so you and hubs can fight through the crowds and knock that list out together~ which should include a nice dinner I might add. Single mom? Make arrangements with gal-pals to swap child care and go out shopping with another friend ( having someone to talk through purchases with can make your time more productive and lessen impulse buying).
     If you are like me, you may not have large sums of money at one time and have to shop week to week. Follow the same game plan~on line shopping and/or have someone watch the kids while you shop with a friend and a LIST!
     Short on cash ( still looking for the universe where there is extra money too!)? The year before last my family declared that all gifts had to come from GoodWill, McKays ( used book store) or any other second-hand store. It was one of the best Christmases we have EVER had! Siblings found classic Disney CDs in a gift set for a sister who loves the music from old Disney movies. We found great books on CDs for Uncles who are on the road a lot, great classic DVD Movies, some beautiful ceramic kitchen serving dishes that matched an Aunt's kitchen perfectly, and fabulous linen napkins for a family member who is going "green". Where there is a will to hunt there is a way to shop and still give gifts during this season of celebrating the Birthday of Jesus!
     And do not forget the joy home baked goods bring to harried people who do not have time to bake for themselves ( I have a sister-in-law that bakes fudge pies for the men in the family every year and woe-be-it-unto-her if she should try to show up at the family Christmas gathering without them!)....there are some cute plates or containers at the dollar store that can make the gift even more festive.
     Ms Cheap had a great article in the Sunday Tennessean rekindling the practice of giving coupons as gifts to one another. Wouldn’t YOU be thrilled to get a coupon for free babysitting, a day of cleaning your house or yard, or a dinner delivered to your door? The people on your list feel the same...the promise of a special night out with just mom and/or dad is a THRILL for children beyond compare!
     Keep it simple and remember it is not about finding the PERFECT gift ( if one does exist) it IS about the people. Your kids really do want fun time with you making Gingerbread houses more than the gift that will be broken or forgotten before next Christmas rolls around. I have NEVER heard anyone complain when given a gift of any kind because it really is the thought that counts. Being remembered and blessed by family and friends recharges our Joy and declares the Love we have for one another.
    All of this is to say, the only way to enjoy the Christmas season with your children is to get your frustrations with the WORK that goes along with the holidays under control by making a plan and executing it.
     Merry Christmas! Be the Mom~ Shop without them and then sing with your kids and enjoy the sights, sounds and tastes of Christmas together. Share the Joy!

Where have all the Parents gone?

One of my daughters went to StarBucks for coffee with a friend last night , they we enjoying a conversation in the comfy chairs when a young couple came in with their 2 children. As the parents ordered their double-shot skinny Mocha Lattes the  kids did what kids are naturally drawn to do...they went over to see the nice ladies.  The 4 year old boy started with  "watch me, watch me!" as he put his hands on two chairs swinging himself back and forth -shoving the chair my daughter was sitting in  to get a better swinging field - while his sister leaned over the arm of the big chair putting herself between my daughter and her friend. All the while the parent's just smiled. At one point they cautioned the children not to bump and spill the ladies' coffee...but that was all the parenting that was done. This couple thought their little entertainers were in StarBucks to share their time and talents with the customers- the customers where not of the same mind.
It amazes me how oblivious parents can be to their impact on society....good and bad. Little Princess standing on the table belting out " The sun will come out to-mah-wow...." may be all fun and games at your family reunion...but not so much at the local eatery ( unless she is American Idol- show stopping worthy). And I am sorry, but I am NOT amused when your little man comes over to my table and asks if he can have a bite of my sandwich. You laugh, but you have seen it happen.
This is a wake up call to parents far and wide....look around you, look closely at the faces of the other patrons in the restaurant/ coffee house/ store and see if they are smiling or smirking. If their eyes are begging for rescue...coral your little munchkins and remember the personal space rules.
Just because you feel relief being out of the house and finding someone else to whom your son can yell "watch me, watch ME" doesn't give you the right to abdicate your parenting role and turn off your conscience connection to the rules of polite society. It does matter, it isn't cute and and I want my personal space back.
On the flip side of this tirade.... keep putting  your little girl's hair in those little palm-tree pigtails....they really do make us smile and when your little guy tries to hold the door open for us it makes our day. I make it a point to compliment  kids when they are at the grocery store ( or out in public) behaving nicely ( yes, I am one of THOSE women)...I think it is smart to reward good behavior and  a mom should get an atta-boy when she has taught her kids not to go buck-wild.  We, the other diners at the restaurant, understand if your little guy has to get up from the table because he just can't sit any longer...just keep him by your table...don't let him ruin the meal for people at other tables. And if your little girl plays peek-a-boo over the back of the booth, while it may be cute at first...know that the people in the other booth will grow tired of it quickly ...so put a stop to the game. And PLEASE, if you are in church, at a movie or listening to a speaker....if your child starts to make noise.....happy OR sad noise..., forgo the entertainment for the sake of the other people present and remove your child from the room.
I know you are tired and I KNOW parenting 24/7 is hard...but think about what you are teaching your children - if there are no boundaries, they can not learn self-control.
 It is all about inhabiting the same space in peace.
Be the Parent: Be Aware!