One of my daughters went to StarBucks for coffee with a friend last night , they we enjoying a conversation in the comfy chairs when a young couple came in with their 2 children. As the parents ordered their double-shot skinny Mocha Lattes the kids did what kids are naturally drawn to do...they went over to see the nice ladies. The 4 year old boy started with "watch me, watch me!" as he put his hands on two chairs swinging himself back and forth -shoving the chair my daughter was sitting in to get a better swinging field - while his sister leaned over the arm of the big chair putting herself between my daughter and her friend. All the while the parent's just smiled. At one point they cautioned the children not to bump and spill the ladies' coffee...but that was all the parenting that was done. This couple thought their little entertainers were in StarBucks to share their time and talents with the customers- the customers where not of the same mind.
It amazes me how oblivious parents can be to their impact on society....good and bad. Little Princess standing on the table belting out " The sun will come out to-mah-wow...." may be all fun and games at your family reunion...but not so much at the local eatery ( unless she is American Idol- show stopping worthy). And I am sorry, but I am NOT amused when your little man comes over to my table and asks if he can have a bite of my sandwich. You laugh, but you have seen it happen.
This is a wake up call to parents far and wide....look around you, look closely at the faces of the other patrons in the restaurant/ coffee house/ store and see if they are smiling or smirking. If their eyes are begging for rescue...coral your little munchkins and remember the personal space rules.
Just because you feel relief being out of the house and finding someone else to whom your son can yell "watch me, watch ME" doesn't give you the right to abdicate your parenting role and turn off your conscience connection to the rules of polite society. It does matter, it isn't cute and and I want my personal space back.
On the flip side of this tirade.... keep putting your little girl's hair in those little palm-tree pigtails....they really do make us smile and when your little guy tries to hold the door open for us it makes our day. I make it a point to compliment kids when they are at the grocery store ( or out in public) behaving nicely ( yes, I am one of THOSE women)...I think it is smart to reward good behavior and a mom should get an atta-boy when she has taught her kids not to go buck-wild. We, the other diners at the restaurant, understand if your little guy has to get up from the table because he just can't sit any longer...just keep him by your table...don't let him ruin the meal for people at other tables. And if your little girl plays peek-a-boo over the back of the booth, while it may be cute at first...know that the people in the other booth will grow tired of it quickly ...so put a stop to the game. And PLEASE, if you are in church, at a movie or listening to a speaker....if your child starts to make noise.....happy OR sad noise..., forgo the entertainment for the sake of the other people present and remove your child from the room.
I know you are tired and I KNOW parenting 24/7 is hard...but think about what you are teaching your children - if there are no boundaries, they can not learn self-control.
It is all about inhabiting the same space in peace.
Be the Parent: Be Aware!
