Saturday, November 26, 2011

Believing is seeing...

     One of the best lines in The Santa Clause movie is , "Seeing isn't believing, Believing is seeing" -- isn't that true in many aspects of our lives? If we believe something -that is how we tend to see it. Take our children for instance; if we believe our children to be perfect little angels, that is all we tend to see ( often times to the chagrin of others). Conversely, if we see our child as a "devil child" ( I have heard more than one person say that of their child), THAT is all we see.
     The trouble with either or both of those scenarios is that we tend to feed what we believe. Little "angel" can walk from table to table at a restaurant -- disturbing others' dinner-- and angel's parents just think it is sooooo cute. Thus feeding the precociousness of said child rather than teaching and training about manners and boundaries.  Likewise, parents who only see the bad in their child, will miss great opportunities to praise him or her and reinforce good behavior because they are too busy yelling and smacking at the little "devil"
      You can guarantee that if the nursery worker at your church sees your little angel hording all the toys and taking what she wants from others...they aren't going to laugh it off as him or her being a little "organizer". . And if you keep stomping on your monster child, he or she will do all they can do to live up to that reputation and all the effort of his or  her school teacher to "do" anything with that child will be short lived because the teacher will believe what he or she sees too. Seeing will indeed be believing for those working with your children
     Maybe it is time for a vision exam.  You really have to be ready for this reality checkup-- ready to hear the truth and ready to act on it. Ask someone near and dear to you-- someone you can trust to tell the truth without sugar coating or being brutal-- to tell you what they see when they are with your kids. Especially if you think you are SURE you know the answer!! This kind of hard truth can be life altering....for you and your child. But how much better to make parenting adjustments now to see more clearly what your child's behavior is telling you-- rather than dealing with major issues and regrets later!
     Great adults start-out as kids with imperfect parents willing to do what it takes...believing that their children will grow into kind & caring, productive, happy adults while seeing them for what they are- kids who need the help of parents to get there!
     Be the parent! Do the hard stuff like looking at your children with clear vision and loving them enough to do the work it takes to teach them and train them to be the adults that you want them to be!